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Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Aug 5, 2018

Empathy & Organisations!


I won’t hold it against you if you accord less than warm reception when I go on to mention ‘empathy and organization’ in the same breath. For far too long, virtues, in general, have been getting a solid beating from their flashy cousin ‘numbers’ ( to do with top & bottom line, performance & other tangible titbits). It is only natural to get lured into thinking that ‘numbers’ along matter and everything else is not worthy of our attention .. such abrasive attitude surprisingly even attracts applauds in boardrooms across the world, today. There is no denying the fact that such talks have a tendency of sounding aggressive .. so much so that even wisest sometime forget to pause to look for substance beneath the claim. We greet it as it hits us .. warm and loud and move on with a happy and satisfied feeling. What happens after however is not always desirable and we know that for a fact, don’t we? Targets get missed, deliveries do get delayed and prospects shut doors .. real world failures.

I do not wish to say that numbers aren't important, they indeed are ; unless you are making the money that you need to run your affairs you won't be able to sustain .. this write up is towards highlighting that foundational layer that comes handy in creating a base on which you can lay plans for the future firmly .. of growth, relevance, and of sustenance. 

Before you go on any further : I need to mention this that I’m very much for numbers and have been driving those for most of my life; as a student .. grades and as a professional organisational ’mandates’ and at the risk of sounding boastful, would say that have done a damn good job at creating spectacular results, some of which are standing benchmarks in my area of work. What I’m here to discuss however is what I have uncovered in my own mad and sometimes even mindless perusal of numbers and how it has deeply affected the way I operate. It is my duty to mention that my way is not essentially the ‘best’ way. It is merely a statement of the way that has worked surprisingly well for me.

Our work routine invariably revolves around three things;

1) Where am I?
2) Where should I have been?
3) How do I get ahead from wherever I’m?

These apply to everyone in equal measure; you could be an individual contributor, a beginner, team managers, someone in the mid-management rank or an executive from the higher office - all that you do can be categorized in these three statements, broadly though. Let’s take a pause here and think .. what are organizations really? At its core, it is a group of people, larger the size more heterogeneous the mix, coming together to fulfill what is a 'common goal'. That goal can be expressed in monitory terms: “Have to become a trillion dollar company” or can have relative connotation: “We must be the biggest and the largest in our area” etc. I personally like the later more.. because it doesn't have a ceiling, not even in the short term. 

How are these goals going to get accomplished? The science part of it gets addressed rather easily, see what is working, what is not .. validate by data, research action, build prototypes, refine and regulate .. implement, observe and rework. Keep repeating the sequence & the cycles for so long as you discover the set of activities that meet your effort capacity and give you what is your desired output, at the cost that you can bear and in the time that your customers would happily give you.  What is difficult to achieve is that ‘art’ of problem-solving. There, let me come back to that statement that I made a while ago; organization are essentially a group of people and thus human emotions play a part, seminal in nature. And therefore it is only vital for leaders like us invest in it. Remember, you’ll need great people by your side to weather storms of a bad market, poor economy, upset client and cyclic poor performance that will keep showing up every once in a while.

Because we’re talking about organizational symmetry & set up; let us look at what could be a measure of success; a number .. we all need it.

Attrition could be one
Employee satisfaction another 

I don’t think I need to make a case here to say that an engaged and happy workforce almost always outperforms those who are dissatisfied or plain unhappy. Happiness can't be bought by throwing stacks of cash .. you can be paying handsomely, providing your employees with shiniest of the offices or most efficient of the infra but they could still be disengaged, unhappy, disturbed and even disgusted. A good way of testing if that is the case is seeing if problems keep resurfacing, check for clients expressing repeated discomfort, check for how much people actually care about the issue at hand. Do people take responsibility for errors easily or keep explaining how it is not to do with them but everyone else on the planet? If these tests come positive .. you have a problem which you wanna solve.

Happiness is created by trading in the currency of intent. Bad results are often overlooked if ‘intent’ somehow proves itself to be good & intact. From an organization, it is critical that ‘intent’ is always voiced out loud and clear. Over-communication here is not entirely undesirable. And that brings me to the word with which title of this blog begins “Empathy”.

All of us have at least once watched tightrope walk being performed by artists in circus .. when they walk on that rope, the onlookers feel sweat in their palm, wide open eyes get glued to the point where the rope meets the feet of the walker, heart begins to race faster than usual and we almost unknowingly start praying that he ends up on the other side of the rope without falling off and when he does it; we clap in cheer and feel happy as though, we conducted the gymnastic ourselves - This feeling is "empathy"!

When you not only understand other’s feeling but also feel it yourself; you connect at a level which is deep and meaningful. From it comes the resolve to act and then the delivery gets magically aligned to the purpose and from there on it is a function of time that one puts on the issues, that determines success. Solutions only keep getting better. Think of it yourself .. if you were to bet your life on someone; who would you choose? Someone who empathizes with you completely and honestly or those who understand your problem but do not quite care as much for its impact on you? 9/10 people will choose the one with empathy .. the 10th person, well .. let’s empathize with him and let him be.

In all organizations, people essentially solve for their customers and in the process work towards making their organization/entity richer, more prosperous, known and respected and there if employees were to not care deeply about the thing/issue they are solving for or feel for it as much, the effort that they will put will always be inadequate and that will sadly reflect in the results visible to the customers/ clients/ employees/ stakeholders ....everyone. The surest way of delivering great results is building empathy with the problem and those affected by it. Superficialities do not count here. These are four important things to do.

Understanding: Not just the issue but also the plight of those who are impacted by it.

Passion: for solving it and solving it for real

Honesty: Being open and candid about stating facts and laying out plans.

Communication: Let people know about the cause, the effect and also the remedy. 

Given the obvious benefits, it is wise to build an organization that believes in the need to be empathetic and practices it at all times. Remember empathy won’t insulate you from failures or losses or delays but if implemented well, it will surely reduce such possibilities greatly and should they still occur you'll have a group of people who are committed to the cause greater than ever and from it will stem awesome things like collaboration, cooperation, accountability, and sensitivity . Treatment will not be merely symptomatic but one that eliminates the root cause. Whenever the undesirable happens you will have a whole organization ready to understand, care and solve for it with utmost honesty and commitment.

On that note, allow me to offer my best wishes to you on this friendship day.

See you in the next one.

May 6, 2018

The curious case of conflict!



Hello Readers,

Good to be back here. The last couple of weeks have been particularly busy given the fact that I’ve accepted an exciting career opportunity, this involved among many other things ‘moving’ from the city of the Netas to the one of the Nawabs .. better known as the holy biryani barrack by rest of the country. You guessed it right .. I’m in Hyderabad. It isn’t my first stint in this beautiful city .. more on it, later.

I’ve been mulling over the subject of “conflict” for a while now; it is one fascinating facet of human existence. Don’t you agree? We often hear this term in our day to day lives and almost all the time, we associate negative sentiment to it. It is disliked by all and yet a part of everyone’s life, irrespective of what you do or dream of achieving as long as it involves resources ( people, things, thoughts .. or just about anything else) in a sum total of 2 or more - the possibility of conflict is real. Let me say this: conflict is inescapable, no matter what you do, you will have to deal with it in some form, shape or manner. So, it is only wise to perhaps invest time and energy in understanding it better. 

Right off the bat search on the web or a dive into the dictionary will give you the below.


———————————————————————————————————————————

noun
noun: conflict; plural noun: conflicts
หˆkษ’nflษชkt/
  1. 1. 
  2. a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one."the eternal conflict between the sexes"
1 1.synonyms:
1 1.dispute, quarrel, squabble, disagreement, a difference of opinion, dissension; More

——————————————————————————————————————————— 

Disagreement, yes that, is conflict at an atomic level. But wait, should all disagreements be called conflicts? If you go by the ‘definition’ perhaps yes.. I recommend, you wait to hear a little example that I’m gonna share with you and then decide for yourself. Let’s say, there are two friends; Lav and Kush, Lav believes that S. P. Balasubrahmanyam is the greatest singer to have walked on the face of this earth but Kush holds the highest honour for Kishore Kumar, in his views there hasn’t been .. there isn’t and there will never be another artist who could infuse life into the lyrics. He goes on to say that Late Kishore Kumar's vocal codes were the finest set of harmonium that a human was ever born with. Obviously, Lav and Kush do not agree with each other - will this difference of opinion qualify to be called a conflict, though?

Let’s give this little snippet some plot. 

Plot #1 - Lav & Kush, meeting each other over Irish coffee at Starbucks in Inorbit Mall, Hyd, after 10 yrs and as a conversation starter pick up on the song another visitor at the coffee house is humming while he awaits his significant other to arrive from Gurgaon.

Plot #2 - Lav & Kush are roommates and have decided to go for a musical show on a Sunday evening between 7 and 9 PM, debating which of the two shows (Kishore Kumar or S. P. Balasubrahmanyam) should they elect for the evening.

Plot #3 - Between Lav and Kush they can only afford one ticket to one of the two shows and therefore they have decided to debate who deserves to go; because there can only be one winner, the other one gets to choose which show is to be booked.

I’ve on purpose picked up these simple yet believable plots to make my point, my belief is that if I manage to bring clarity on the concept of conflict you then on your own will be able to apply the learnings on to other complex situations, to make the right judgment. All the three plots are different kinds of disagreements - not all are conflicts, though. Let’s understand why.

Plot #1 is a casual .. happy disagreement between two friends who use the singers as a prop and are trying to break the ice between themselves so even when they disagree they are actually silently working toward the compatible goal of sliding into a comfortable harmless conversation over coffee. They are friends .. so even if the dialogue were to be pointless, they are cool about it.

Plot #2 - Is a tad different, both the parties desire for different things to be done at the ‘same’ time .. irrespective of the choice one of the two will lose there because resources are scarce. They just have 2 hours, good enough for just one show.

Plot #3 - Is rather interesting, not only they have an incompatible goal but are also strapped for resources, can afford just one ticket and there is also interference, in the sense the one who doesn’t go gets to choose which show is to be booked - this case, my friends, is a classic case of conflict.

So, an apt definition of conflict to my mind is disagreement stemming from incompatible goals, under circumstances that bear scarcity of resources and also possible interference in one’s life by the pointers on which the disagreement is founded, initially.

All of us have been there; we have been the reason for it, we have been a victim of it and some of us have also been involved in resolving conflicts. As leaders, we are expected to resolve quite a few as more than one opinion on a matter could potentially cause what is called conflict in a workplace. Knowledge is the currency of the 21st century, most of us, solve problems with ideas which spring from thoughts applied on the heap of the impression that we collect and carry from our past experiences, academic learnings and the imagination that we apply, using any of it. That being the case it is only natural that a room will have more than one view on a matter, as a matter of a fact it is a good thing to have ideas compete but more often than not, the fine line gets overstepped and instead of ideas, facts and arguments ... real people get down to the arena - making it personal; they may not always have frowns or rolled up sleeve but they do get into a locking position virtually to advance what they consider to be the best.

Calling for truce becomes more than essential in scenarios like that. People who come in to resolve conflict are able to do it easily if they happen to control more stakes than those in the disagreement. They come and pronounce what should be done - while the task moves; sometimes the conflict remains!!

Unresolved conflicts have myriad negative effects on the organization, as a whole, including lowered productivity, a decrease in collaboration, and stifled creativity - not a desirable thing to have, on any account. One must find these conflicts and essentially work towards resolving them. In his 30 years of research in this field, Professor Bernie Mayer describes the seven paradoxes of conflict in his famous book - “Getting to the heart of conflict”. Those are :
  1. Competition and Cooperation
  2. Optimism and Realism
  3. Avoidance and Engagement
  4. Principle and Compromise
  5. Emotion and Logic
  6. Neutrality and Advocacy
  7. Community and Autonomy
Think of any conflict in the word and you’d find that they relate to one of these, invariably.

We’ve sufficiently described what conflict is; let’s now look at ways to resolve them or let’s say manage them in a manner that is effective while being productive, quick and meaningful; all at the same time. Good conflict resolution leads to high employee retention, increased productivity, and a lower stress level for everyone involved - it is a smart investment to make.

Not sure, if I’m someone from whom you should hear this - being honest, I’m learning it just as much as you as I progress in my life meddling and moving from one conflict to the other. I’m making conscious effort to understand it a little better for I have no doubts in my mind that without effective conflict resolution abilities; one can’t possibly get to the top and I wanna be there. I’ve reflected a great deal upon my own experiences on the topic, cases where I excelled and also those where I miserably failed and trust me, you can’t learn without failing. With time I’ve improved but there is still a long way for me to go but I’m determined to get this within my grasp.

I often draw before beginning to write on a subject; it gives me clarity - the one that I sketched today is for you to see. I was trying to devise a little tool kit for conflict resolution. 

Disclaimer: I’m on expert on this. 






*Spelling errors have to be ignored

From this diagram, below items have emerged; let’s go over them one by one.

  • Welcome Conflicts 
  • Listen with your heart not just ears.
  • Do not ASSUME
  • Communicate with clarity 
  • Compromise is beautiful.
  • Forget & Forgive. 



Welcome Conflict - It’ll be unreal for a leader to expect conflict-free business; a talented, passionate, heterogeneous mix of people will have issues - it is a no-brainer. Strong personalities do not cross each other without leaving an imprint of their encounter, some are more indelible than the others, though. A thinking group natures independent research, values varied opinions and likes to weight options before calling the shot - that in itself create a ground firmly fertile for conflicts. It is not a bad thing to have a couple of people disagree on a couple of issues as long as they are putting their best foot forward towards solving what is at hand. When you talk to solve .. it is ok for you to speak a few extra words.

Listen with your heart not just ears - Not hearing a particular view in detail is doing deliberate injustice to the cause. You gotta listen to both the parties for as long as they would like to speak unless you are invested in only moving forward without comprehensively bringing closure. It is needed that you give the matter the time it demands even if it deserves a little less then its demand, to get to the bottom of the issue. Remember unresolved issues often surfaces again harder than the previous time.

Do not ASSUME: Assumption is an absolute worse thing to carry when you are headed to resolve a conflict. Your bias will come in the way of you assessing the situation thoughtfully, remember when you chair a discussion, you have to shed your own beliefs and be guided by the facts as they are presented. One can borrow from morality, fundamentals of natural justice etc. But then it must be applied dispassionately and proportionately to both sets of arguments, data, viewpoints and even interests.

Communicate with clarity: Communication is essentially about the other person, those who you address must understand each word spoken or written just as well as the person leading the conversation. You must leave nothing unsaid, you gotta spell it out completely and in a manner which is most honest and dispassionate. Candour is a great value to embrace in a situation like this.

Compromise is beautiful: Mahatma Gandhi used to propagate the beauty of compromise; he would often suggest that by leaving the comforts of extremists position, people with open mind, when coming to a neutral ground more than a lot, gets accomplished and in time. It is ok, to let go of a few things .. remember it is an art of the possible and not of the perfect.

Forget & Forgive: Moving on is important. If you carry the scars of the past to the present you will not be able to insulate yourself from the pain it gave you when you had to suffer it for the first time. It is imp to let the ghost of the past rest in their peaceful graves .. deal with a present as though you were dealing with it for the first time no less no more.

This is not a perfect solution but certainly a good workaround; think about it and while you’re at it .. have a great Sunday. Catch you in the next one...

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