Independence in "New India"!

When I came into being, our beloved country was 38 yrs old, & in its infancy .. 34 yrs fast forward when I’ve already lived half of my life ( according to current life expectancy limits, though my mother thinks I’ll live for centuries), it is still a toddler. Yes, 72 yrs in the life of a nation is not too long, and in the prism of history for a country that has recorded chronicles of over 4000 yrs, it is on a relative scale, shorter than 15 minutes if all of it were to be squeezed in 24 hours. Given that, what we’ve achieved as a nation is nothing short of admirable .. we must stand in respect for all of us because each one of us has contributed in our own unique ways in making it, what it is today! (applause .. applause)

Much like our own life .. our country is also in every way imaginable our own making, completely!

For all that is right .. we can pat ourselves on the back and for everything that doesn’t feel quite the same .. we need to look ourselves in the eye and question why? Irrespective of our political affiliation, religious identity, regional recognition or personal belief systems .. we are just as much responsible. 

The question that we need to really ask ourselves is what is India to us, today if being independent means anything .. what is it and what is that we’re willing to do to make it work; to our taste and liking. We will need to take a break from living between reportages and phases of festivities to create time and atmosphere needed to confront ourselves with this important question.

Our septuagenarian nation has come of age; in words of our Prime Minister, from fragile five we have undertaken the journey of becoming the 6th largest economy in the world. Such a progress couldn’t have been possible without hard work and selfless service of many unsung heroes. The tale of India is an unending series of untold stories of struggle, glory, pride, and devotion .. details that will never come to the fore but its cumulative impact is seen and felt by all. Both successes and failures are relative, and so is freedom!

Our great nation is free .. a lot more than many Arab and South African countries and a little less than the western world ; we aren’t any less sovereign than any recognised country of the world, the comparison that I bring here has got more to do with utility of day to day freedom and openness that we get to exercise. It is not always a bad thing to be wherever we are. Our transformation has been every bit so as much dramatic as it has been wholesome, from being an agrarian economy, we had our little affair with industrialization for a few decades and lately we have been making great strides in information technology and services with a very solid backing of start ups, mostly internet based and into consumer market. India in the last decade has created more billionaires than it has ever done in the past. However, what Dr. Tharoor once said in his famous speech in the UN is also true. He had said India is such a diverse country that for anything that you say about it .. opposite of it is also true.

As a country, we are also among nations with the highest concerns on infant mortality, malnutrition, poverty, lack of healthcare and sanitation, social inequality, economic disparity and gender bias. Latest world hunger index houses india’s name at a position that is nothing to be proud of; but then for an infant to have achieved what it has is not all that bad. When you have a landmass that is 7th and a population which is only 2nd to the most populous with a ton of diversities, to lead - it is not easy to bring uniformity and make sure that everything keeps progressing at the same rate. Some indicators will move ahead at a greater pace than the others and we have be to accepting of that. As long as nothing is being ignored willfully or mistakenly forgotten.

India is what Indians will make of it .. it is a choice that you and I make everyday .. when we think and also when we take actions.

Vast majority of leaders: political, bussiness and even spiritual (yes, Baba’s have a view too and why not?) since last general election have given the idea of “New India” a lot of time and mention in their public speeches. Because I’m a student of history it is my cardinal responsibility to bring facts to the fore. The term “idea of India” was coined by freedom fighter, writer, poet, statesman par excellence and India’s first prime Minister: Pt. Jawahar Lal Nehru. In fact, the term “New India” is also his. He has written extensively about it in his correspondence with the great Mahatma, Sardar Patel and Rabindra Nath Tagore. Pandit Ji also wrote many letters to Englands’s contemporary leaders, on one occasion even to the queen, elucidating the Idea of India and also the new India! Little mention is given to him for having acted upon on his ideas ( IIT, IIM, ISRO etc) .. but we all understand why is that so, don’t we.

The architect(s) of modern India beyond doubt was Pt. Nehru’s himself, his cabinet, the constituent assembly and everyone else who took Bapu as their moral guardian and worked on his ideals and principles - to give our glorious past a way into the future and most of what we see today is an extension of that, actually a hell lot of it, 95%! 

"The Idea of new India" is a valid, vital and also a powerful concept, anything and everything that is alive needs reproduction to remain in life ..it is true for a nation too. We do need to renew our commitment towards our motherland, every now and then to see which way are we going to steer this nation into. I’m not someone qualified or even capable of giving the idea of new India .. its complete contours, but because I’m as much an Indian and therefore, must have a view.

In the new India .. we must have these from the old India continue, is what I'd like to argue!

Regard: For our glorious past, we must make concerted & continuous effort to protect our history .. the generation ahead of us deserves to know the truth, whole of it. They need to know about Gandhi, Chandra Sekhar Azad as much as they should know about Mughals, & the Ashokas. History must not be allowed to be retold to make a political argument or emboss someone’s contribution beyond his deed or to silent the others. You may choose to not follow or like Nehru but you can’t take him out of the textbooks, that will be an injustice to the Idea of new India. Because we became a nation on the principles of truth and non violence. So we gotta tell the truth! 

Respect : We have to respect everyone, even our opponents. Gandhi ji once said, the kind of freedom that disallows or disincentivizes my opponents from airing their difference with me when I’m in power .. such freedom is undesirable and I wouldn’t want it. ( these weren't his exact words, I’m telling the story with my own expression but the meaning has been kept intact). So, we gotta respect difference of opinion even in the new shiny India. We do not have to agree with whatever we do not like or find not right .. but we must not gag others.

Responsibility: All of us have the responsibility to live up to the ideals on which India was formed. We became one on the guiding principles of plurality. "Progress can be peaceful" should be pursued as a core belief, it doesn’t have to be strenuous and fierce at all times. And to make it happen, we only have to accept that the dignity of humans is sacrosanct. Civility has been relevant in the old India and will be useful in the new India too, must be continued with. It is upon us to be welcoming of change, accepting of diversity that surrounds us in all directions. No nation can exist without conforming to a set of laws, therefore we must remain lawful, in all that we do, big and small.

Democracy is an entrant from the Modern India and it is an amazing thing ; we must take it forward to all shapes and corners of new India too.

With these thoughts .. I’d like to wish each one of you a very happy Independence Day.

I leave you with a video message from Indians who have to say what freedom means to them 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lT16PIhAak) 

See you in the next one!

The curious case of conflict!

Hello Readers,

Good to be back here. The last couple of weeks have been particularly busy given the fact that I’ve accepted an exciting career opportunity, this involved among many other things ‘moving’ from the city of the Netas to the one of the Nawabs .. better known as the holy biryani barrack by rest of the country. You guessed it right .. I’m in Hyderabad. It isn’t my first stint in this beautiful city .. more on it, later.

I’ve been mulling over the subject of “conflict” for a while now; it is one fascinating facet of human existence. Don’t you agree? We often hear this term in our day to day lives and almost all the time, we associate negative sentiment to it. It is disliked by all and yet a part of everyone’s life, irrespective of what you do or dream of achieving as long as it involves resources ( people, things, thoughts .. or just about anything else) in a sum total of 2 or more - the possibility of conflict is real. Let me say this: conflict is inescapable, no matter what you do, you will have to deal with it in some form, shape or manner. So, it is only wise to perhaps invest time and energy in understanding it better. 

Right off the bat search on the web or a dive into the dictionary will give you the below.

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noun

noun: conflict; plural noun: conflicts

ˈkɒnflɪkt/

1. 1. 
2. a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one."the eternal conflict between the sexes"

1 1.synonyms:

1 1.dispute, quarrel, squabble, disagreement, a difference of opinion, dissension; More

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Disagreement, yes that, is conflict at an atomic level. But wait, should all disagreements be called conflicts? If you go by the ‘definition’ perhaps yes.. I recommend, you wait to hear a little example that I’m gonna share with you and then decide for yourself. Let’s say, there are two friends; Lav and Kush, Lav believes that S. P. Balasubrahmanyam is the greatest singer to have walked on the face of this earth but Kush holds the highest honour for Kishore Kumar, in his views there hasn’t been .. there isn’t and there will never be another artist who could infuse life into the lyrics. He goes on to say that Late Kishore Kumar's vocal codes were the finest set of harmonium that a human was ever born with. Obviously, Lav and Kush do not agree with each other - will this difference of opinion qualify to be called a conflict, though?

Let’s give this little snippet some plot. 

Plot #1 - Lav & Kush, meeting each other over Irish coffee at Starbucks in Inorbit Mall, Hyd, after 10 yrs and as a conversation starter pick up on the song another visitor at the coffee house is humming while he awaits his significant other to arrive from Gurgaon.

Plot #2 - Lav & Kush are roommates and have decided to go for a musical show on a Sunday evening between 7 and 9 PM, debating which of the two shows (Kishore Kumar or S. P. Balasubrahmanyam) should they elect for the evening.

Plot #3 - Between Lav and Kush they can only afford one ticket to one of the two shows and therefore they have decided to debate who deserves to go; because there can only be one winner, the other one gets to choose which show is to be booked.

I’ve on purpose picked up these simple yet believable plots to make my point, my belief is that if I manage to bring clarity on the concept of conflict you then on your own will be able to apply the learnings on to other complex situations, to make the right judgment. All the three plots are different kinds of disagreements - not all are conflicts, though. Let’s understand why.

Plot #1 is a casual .. happy disagreement between two friends who use the singers as a prop and are trying to break the ice between themselves so even when they disagree they are actually silently working toward the compatible goal of sliding into a comfortable harmless conversation over coffee. They are friends .. so even if the dialogue were to be pointless, they are cool about it.

Plot #2 - Is a tad different, both the parties desire for different things to be done at the ‘same’ time .. irrespective of the choice one of the two will lose there because resources are scarce. They just have 2 hours, good enough for just one show.

Plot #3 - Is rather interesting, not only they have an incompatible goal but are also strapped for resources, can afford just one ticket and there is also interference, in the sense the one who doesn’t go gets to choose which show is to be booked - this case, my friends, is a classic case of conflict.

So, an apt definition of conflict to my mind is disagreement stemming from incompatible goals, under circumstances that bear scarcity of resources and also possible interference in one’s life by the pointers on which the disagreement is founded, initially.

All of us have been there; we have been the reason for it, we have been a victim of it and some of us have also been involved in resolving conflicts. As leaders, we are expected to resolve quite a few as more than one opinion on a matter could potentially cause what is called conflict in a workplace. Knowledge is the currency of the 21st century, most of us, solve problems with ideas which spring from thoughts applied on the heap of the impression that we collect and carry from our past experiences, academic learnings and the imagination that we apply, using any of it. That being the case it is only natural that a room will have more than one view on a matter, as a matter of a fact it is a good thing to have ideas compete but more often than not, the fine line gets overstepped and instead of ideas, facts and arguments ... real people get down to the arena - making it personal; they may not always have frowns or rolled up sleeve but they do get into a locking position virtually to advance what they consider to be the best.

Calling for truce becomes more than essential in scenarios like that. People who come in to resolve conflict are able to do it easily if they happen to control more stakes than those in the disagreement. They come and pronounce what should be done - while the task moves; sometimes the conflict remains!!

Unresolved conflicts have myriad negative effects on the organization, as a whole, including lowered productivity, a decrease in collaboration, and stifled creativity - not a desirable thing to have, on any account. One must find these conflicts and essentially work towards resolving them. In his 30 years of research in this field, Professor Bernie Mayer describes the seven paradoxes of conflict in his famous book - “Getting to the heart of conflict”. Those are :

1. Competition and Cooperation
2. Optimism and Realism
3. Avoidance and Engagement
4. Principle and Compromise
5. Emotion and Logic
6. Neutrality and Advocacy
7. Community and Autonomy

Think of any conflict in the word and you’d find that they relate to one of these, invariably.

We’ve sufficiently described what conflict is; let’s now look at ways to resolve them or let’s say manage them in a manner that is effective while being productive, quick and meaningful; all at the same time. Good conflict resolution leads to high employee retention, increased productivity, and a lower stress level for everyone involved - it is a smart investment to make.

Not sure, if I’m someone from whom you should hear this - being honest, I’m learning it just as much as you as I progress in my life meddling and moving from one conflict to the other. I’m making conscious effort to understand it a little better for I have no doubts in my mind that without effective conflict resolution abilities; one can’t possibly get to the top and I wanna be there. I’ve reflected a great deal upon my own experiences on the topic, cases where I excelled and also those where I miserably failed and trust me, you can’t learn without failing. With time I’ve improved but there is still a long way for me to go but I’m determined to get this within my grasp.

I often draw before beginning to write on a subject; it gives me clarity - the one that I sketched today is for you to see. I was trying to devise a little tool kit for conflict resolution. 

Disclaimer: I’m on expert on this. 

*Spelling errors have to be ignored

From this diagram, below items have emerged; let’s go over them one by one.

• Welcome Conflicts 
• Listen with your heart not just ears.
• Do not ASSUME
• Communicate with clarity 
• Compromise is beautiful.
• Forget & Forgive. 

Welcome Conflict - It’ll be unreal for a leader to expect conflict-free business; a talented, passionate, heterogeneous mix of people will have issues - it is a no-brainer. Strong personalities do not cross each other without leaving an imprint of their encounter, some are more indelible than the others, though. A thinking group natures independent research, values varied opinions and likes to weight options before calling the shot - that in itself create a ground firmly fertile for conflicts. It is not a bad thing to have a couple of people disagree on a couple of issues as long as they are putting their best foot forward towards solving what is at hand. When you talk to solve .. it is ok for you to speak a few extra words.

Listen with your heart not just ears - Not hearing a particular view in detail is doing deliberate injustice to the cause. You gotta listen to both the parties for as long as they would like to speak unless you are invested in only moving forward without comprehensively bringing closure. It is needed that you give the matter the time it demands even if it deserves a little less then its demand, to get to the bottom of the issue. Remember unresolved issues often surfaces again harder than the previous time.

Do not ASSUME: Assumption is an absolute worse thing to carry when you are headed to resolve a conflict. Your bias will come in the way of you assessing the situation thoughtfully, remember when you chair a discussion, you have to shed your own beliefs and be guided by the facts as they are presented. One can borrow from morality, fundamentals of natural justice etc. But then it must be applied dispassionately and proportionately to both sets of arguments, data, viewpoints and even interests.

Communicate with clarity: Communication is essentially about the other person, those who you address must understand each word spoken or written just as well as the person leading the conversation. You must leave nothing unsaid, you gotta spell it out completely and in a manner which is most honest and dispassionate. Candour is a great value to embrace in a situation like this.

Compromise is beautiful: Mahatma Gandhi used to propagate the beauty of compromise; he would often suggest that by leaving the comforts of extremists position, people with open mind, when coming to a neutral ground more than a lot, gets accomplished and in time. It is ok, to let go of a few things .. remember it is an art of the possible and not of the perfect.

Forget & Forgive: Moving on is important. If you carry the scars of the past to the present you will not be able to insulate yourself from the pain it gave you when you had to suffer it for the first time. It is imp to let the ghost of the past rest in their peaceful graves .. deal with a present as though you were dealing with it for the first time no less no more.

This is not a perfect solution but certainly a good workaround; think about it and while you’re at it .. have a great Sunday. Catch you in the next one...

“Separation”- is it “Selfish” or “Sacrificing” of simply fear?

Separation is a considered a bad word, something no right thinking mind would wish for, it is yet one of those realities of our lives that we can not abandon, no matter how much we wished, we did. We sperate or part ways at many junctures in our lives , it will not be wrong if we say life is nothing more than a couple of separations and a couple of associations, it however has remained a less talked about or desired subject. Well my views on it aren’t any different from your’s except the fact that I sometimes do consider it “acceptable if avoiding is inescapable”!

“The guy I know” holds divergent views on the subject and unlike most times when we together think things out he wishes to chart out an individual line of thought  but in here I’m not choosing “separation” , I agree to serve my wine in the glass of his line of reasoning , neither is he in for separation and we agree to say cheers  - we get on to our discourse.

To ascertain if “separation” is desirable or not, it is essential that we examine what causes it in greater details. So , here is my take, would like to broadly categories my views in below two variants.

1 ) Separation is “selfish” – When we sperate to associate with something else, it is largely seen as selfish but isn’t it true that most associations are based on some or the other kind of separation? If we didn’t sperate from school , we couldn’t have joined the collage, a no to separation from collage wouldn’t have allowed us to associate with the work career – so is it truly selfish ? the answer is, it is not ,it is only progressive not selfish, when it is being supposedly done for one’s betterment.

2) Let’s take the other view – Separation is Sacrifice – Is it really is ? Perhaps yes , no matter how short, tough or sweet ,long an association is, it is always difficult to part ways and when we do it at the cost of our will, it indeed qualifies to be called sacrifice. Most of us loved our school ,collage etc but scarified it all for a better tomorrow.

Both of the cases appear true when linked with positive betterment , but there are many separations that life forcibly makes us, a part of, that in true sense of the word, tears us apart. Yes, you guessed me right, it is when we have to separate from people we wish to be with , people we love, people we care for – in some unfortunate cases it is a reality and this form of septation is truly the most complex and cruel in nature.

Why people choose to part ways when they were the ones who put their heart, mind and soul in creating a common path for themselves ? What possibly causes it ,has remained an unsolved puzzle and will always will be one, we are however trying to link what appears common among causes. Breathing with someone we are separating with becomes difficult despite of plenty of fresh air in the common space , every separation starts with disagreement, followed by inherited want of both parties to be proved on the right side of logic in the disagreement, when one of the two is pragmatic the situation dissolves to nothing sooner than soon , but when both parties stand for their beliefs of what they consider to be the right side, disagreement paves path for discussion/argument and that gives birth to Fear of looing  and/or fear of accepting other’s version of right , and from here distances of meters , become miles and finally a day comes when people part ways. Honest people part ways as unhappy and mischievous as happy but both undergo the test of fear.

That preciously is my take  - It is fear that causes separation.

And to all those of you, who are going through it, my only submission is try to be together for life isn’t fun separated.

The guy I know, seems convinced and we move ahead. On that note wish you well.

“The guy I know” wants to end all disputes on the subject of “dispute”!

After a gap of good 24 hours, I could again get closer to ‘the guy I know’, in the silence of my pg room, yes, the place is largely quite, if we have a heart big enough to ignore desperate call for proper oiling coming clear from the ceiling fan swinging above me & yes my best companion in town (my BB ) paying “jagjit singh”, as both of us approach the mid night!

“The guy I know” is thinking deep as he nods to my greeting and almost mechanically throws a question towards me, speed of which was nothing less than a bullet chasing its target – I was perplexed and in the attempt to understand, why something was being asked to me, I completely missed, what was being asked? In utter disgust, I uttered – you mind repeating.... he gave me a stern look and said .. are “disputes” bad ?

Like all previous occasions even on this one, I did not have much to contribute, so I cautiously caught the bullet, without  allowing it to disturb my desire to listen to “the guy I know”, I threw the question back to him (my speed was gentle though) and said – why don’t you share you viewpoint and “the guy I know”, said, Dispute is often seen as a negative sentiment or let me say it is believed to cause undesirable consequences in most cases,  but I’m of the view that disputes are integral part of our lives and it propels growth and movement ( may not be in all cases but it does deliver it in some critical ones) – I heard “The guy I know” and was struck by surprise and perhaps this was my turn to behave mechanical, I  bounced on him almost like this action was a result of someone pressing some electronic button in me– I remarked  _ I don’t think I agree with that one, and then with an unperturbed smile he says _  please turn an ear to my thoughts , you may buy it in and I agreed!

“The guy I know” said, it is when we disagree, difference are born which sometimes graduate to disputes and disagreement is born often when we don’t submit to what we don’t consider right , so if dispute is bad so is standing for what we consider right?  Now it is undisputable that standing for one’s views is not negative and wrong, so it is not unfair therefore to consider and accept that all disputes are not negative, some are essential too! – This argument did move me a little but could not really shift my positions - from extreme disagreement to agreement , my honest situation was somewhere in between and I did not waste any moment in putting it across to “The guy I know”, this time speed was certainly calmer!

“The Guy I know”, welcomed my reaction and said , it is not deniable that disputes do sometimes lead to unfortunate consequences but so does agreement , if we agree and act on factually incorrect details and actions based on immoral philosophies devoid of values ? It is then he says, disputes alone never causes any harm – it becomes fatally destructive when it is wrongly mixed with emotions ( like hatred, insult, jealously etc..) and thus misjudged as an attack on self and not just on our opinion, a glaring example could be we don’t mind when people say “they don’t like black cloths” but when the same dislike on the colour is expressed like “I don’t like your cloths in black” raises possibility of dispute potential of unfortunate results! It is noteworthy that the previous comment which only talk about the colour black is less likely to result in anything unpleasant, while there might still be dispute in the shape of disagreement between people who regard black as a good colour!

So it is not dispute , but dispute blended with emotions attached to self that causes problems and if we have to dissolve dispute , we don’t have to agree on everything but only alienate emotions form our disagreement and still carry on with disputes which after all is not a bad thing, always.

Now I can say, I have travelled the across the tangent to believe that not all disputes are bad – Thanks to the “The Guy I know”