"The guy I know" is thankful!

If you concentrate on what you have, you'll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never have enough."  -Lewis Howes

“The guy I know” is eternally thankful for everything that he has, he bends in a smile over all that he doesn’t, yet. He believes that what he doesn’t have is what makes his present worth going after .. if he had all that he desired for .. he remarks, his life wouldn't be as exciting as it is today. I’ve known him for as long as I have known myself .. and it is in moments like this, the fictional character takes over me and we become one; Alike! 

We see what we look for:  .. there is an abundance of everything everywhere .. all around us, here and now.

“Never in the history of time has human life been as good as it is in this moment, this truly is the finest that it has ever felt”: If this is not what you naturally think .. what you have is called ‘gratitude-deficiency-syndrome (made up the acronym). We’re going to together explore that today. Let me say this upfront that not being in the ‘best’ mood all the time is not unnatural in fact being happy and upbeat round the clock would actually be a problem from where behavioral psychologist see. Is there a pre-requisite for being happy? Or do happy people go through a certain set of circumstances? Or are they particularly tough or skilled people? The fact of the matter is that all of it is untrue. It doesn’t require any special skill, talent, circumstance or inheritance to be happy. It is the element of ‘choice’ however that makes all the difference. Now, choices aren’t easy to make ... no matter how effortless they may appear from the surface. Broadly speaking good choices emerge from ‘acceptance and awareness’ and both of these vital constituents are not easy to tame but we do not have to worry about it for there is one simple thing which when practiced regularly can swing things in our favor that is “gratitude”. 

Gratitude changes perspective, it can sweep away most of the petty, day-to-day annoyances on which we focus so much of our attention: the “small stuff” situations that bring up feelings of impatience, intolerance, negative judgment, indignation, anger, or resentment.

Believe it or not .. this one thing makes all the difference. Have you ever seen pictures of children in stark poverty, deprived settings, playing with waste and yet glowing with the brightest possible smile? Have you ever wondered, why best poetry comes out of most difficult circumstances? It is because those people make effort to recognize all that is good even when surrounded with not particularly easy or comfortable situations. It is because they do not fixate on what’s not alright … but what is rather ok. They are thankful for all that is ok no matter how small or insignificant they may be. It is not easy to be thankful and admittedly so when things began to crumble, for instance, it is rather hard for a man facing death to appreciate all that care that the nursing staff in the hospital shower, but the hard fact is that those who do ..end up better. Such is life really .. you always will get two choices .. to be thankful or to be discourteous. Remember, not all that you get .. you thoroughly deserve .. some of the things that you proudly own are a result of others being kind and patient with you. Let’s say up on the side table of your bed like every other day you wake up to a cup full of your beverage of choice ( I’m a tea person and I would totally understand if you desire coffee) , the very first sip of it doesn’t go down too well with you .. nearly unbearable. How do you react to it? Do you say that this is the worst morning of your life and then snob the whole day, avenging .. that bad taste? Or tell yourself that .. this wasn’t the best tea ever .. but thankfully, it wasn’t nothing to begin the day with? If you hold the 2^nd approach sensible you’d walk to the person who fixed that cup for you .. smile the pain away and then figure out what could have been done to make it better. Isn’t it? 

Cosmic truth is that things could not have been any different than they are in this moment – you can beat yourself to death, but it won’t change a thing. Sun will rise at its time and in the precise position it must to sustain life on earth. Things just happen .. now please do not bring that .. be the change .. and make it happen argument .. what we are discussing here is something way more fundamental, deep and meaningful, certainly not transactional in any sense. We’re trying to explore the belief system on which .. all resolves spring out of. So you .. keep your horses tied in the stable for a little longer and listen in.  Look around .. observe .. close your eyes and think would your life be the same if some or all of those things were not there? And when you do it .. you do not have to consider that last argument that you had about a thing .. or a person. Emotional outburst mess with your judgment system getting you to choose near-term good over long-term goodness. Life happens over an extended period of time .. some of these temporary rifts do not really count. You gotta see the proverbial bigger picture. 

Assessment done with a cool and clear head will end in you knowing that your life will not be the same .. not as good as it is without those things and those people. With all their imperfections and faults they still count and make your life what it is today. You still would want them to continue being in your life in ways that you would desire. This realization is key. The next logical step from there is being thankful for it and after that everything else is a cake walk. Simple, tasty and of course more meaningful. Don’t you agree?

Accepting your life and being thankful for it doesn’t mean that you are surrendering to it and that you would not make attempt to better it. Some confuse, acceptance for submission, I’m here to tell you that it is not. In fact, opposite of it is true, those who accept their circumstance, stand stronger chances of improving it. Think of it like …shooting a target, the first step towards a great aim is a great sight, a clear one. If you do not see, you can’t hit it. Clarity is important. The pace of progress is swift in peace and peace comes from acceptance, therefore, sure way to get there quickly is knowing where you are now well enough. Making progress is the single most important thing that humans have come to master and it will only get better if happier humans .. did the human thing.

Happiness and gratitude are deeply related. Unhappy people are mostly unthankful ... think of 3 most unhappy people that you’ve met... and ask yourself .. have they displayed any traits of being thankful? I neither know you ... and certainly not those 3 people you are thinking of ... but I can, with a great amount of certainty tell you that they do not.

Being grateful helps.

People who experience the most gratitude tend to:

• Feel a sense of abundance in their lives

• Appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being

• Recognize and enjoy life's small pleasures

• Acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude

The bio-psycho-social-spiritual benefits of gratitude are immense, a plethora of scientific research has been done to establish it. It functions as an antidote for attachment to what we want but don’t have and aversion to what we have but don’t want. Gratitude is the opposite of being discontented.

I wish to end this year ... by thanking each one of you for being there and making my life what it is today. I wish and hope that in the coming year too we remain closely related and progress towards creating a better world for ourselves, a more prosperous and a happier one.

On that note, I end this ... happy holidays.

Kanhaiya Laal, a living legend!

The only thing ordinary about this man is perhaps his appearance, behind his humble attire, clam being & sweet smile, lives a man who has been saving human lives for 47 long years, as many as 486 lives saved on record and perhaps many others which would have remained unregistered, untold and thus unknown - story of real-life hero Kanhaiya laal ji is anything but ordinary. Height is not the only thing he has in common with the great Mahatma Gandhi, this is not an exaggeration, he also is a firm believer in God, subscribes to the currency of goodness and is genuinely rooted in kindness .. he may have a few earthly possessions but nothing as compared to what he could have accumulated if he lived a life like most of us do, his presence is saintly. He comes from a place that has been making headlines for all the wrong reasons these days, Chittorgarh, the place where many believe Rani Padmavati once lived in flesh and blood .. historians do not agree but she has become so relevant to a large section of our society today that historical fact based following may seem losing relevance to many like you & me.

Yesterday, on the eve of Republic day, our workplace was buzzing with excitement, people were dressed in ethnic clothing and generally, the mood was happy and upbeat. Moving from one meeting to another, I did catch, murmurs about someone really special coming to our workplace. Little did I then know that the man who would come will have such huge screen presence. Frankly, I wasn’t expecting much .. but boy, I was so wrong!

The stage was set, the camera began to roll, people stopped farming on their keyboards and stood to face the projector which had Shuttl banner beamed on it. I was in a meeting with team members .. trying to cover a few items. That is when another co-worker began to test the mic, I knew it was time to close the discussion. We walked out on a promise to gather again, after the event. I let my Mac rest on my workstation and stood like everyone else in amusement unaware of what was to follow. Till then, all I knew was that one of our business associates was to come over and share with us his story and then in walked the man himself, followed by his wife, his only daughter, and younger son; quietly ...almost unnoticeable.

We welcomed him with thunderous applauds, he came and occupied the seat that we had set for him, right in front of the camera, our Co-Founder, Deepanshu, extended warm welcome to him on behalf of all Shuttlers and began to tell us who he was and what were we up to - the slide said 486*

In the following moments, we saw on the projector image of the president medal certificate, a couple of newspaper clippings, a book dedication .. enough pieces of evidence to know that he had saved those many lives, all strangers in last 47 yrs; all of us were awestruck, surprised, speechless & stunned.

Let’s accept this - we’re a generation that spends our time debating, Donald Trump and Modi, iOS Vs Andriod, Indian holiday or vacation overseas, the new car, the new tech, the awesome bike, low carb - high protein - these constitute 80% of our non-work related discussions! Here we had a man who had saved more people than we actually knew, speaking to us... telling his tale. I had not expected this!! I was touched, moved beyond expression, I felt emotions that I had not felt in a long time.

He narrated his stories to us, reluctantly, he is a simple man with lofty ideals; he doesn’t enjoy talking about the work that he has done. Doesn’t, count it as anything special. For him, saving lives, helping others selflessly and relentlessly are regular things unworthy of appreciation, let alone applaud. He has had a particularly tough childhood as he was an orphan, growing up in a village without the amenities deemed bare minimum and perhaps it is that special background that gives his character that strength and grit it takes for a normal human to become Kanhaiya Laal. He tells us that it all started in scout guard assessment session where he along with a bunch of classmates had gathered at a kund (water body) for swimming exam, and his teacher who he referred to as “Mastar Saheb” had made him the in-charge of the activity. He had instructions to sit atop and watch over the kids. Things were moving as planned and then suddenly, he says, he felt something was wrong, the intuition of someone drowning. He without applying much thought simply jumped into what was two and a half story deep dive and saved his friend. He took him out of the water and gave the victim mouth to mouth respiration, surrounded by other boys.His teacher happened to call him and without finding out why-why he may have jumped, wiped him thrice and hard.. it was painful but he did not quite reveal himself the reason for his unexpected disobedience and that is when a bunch of kids approached the teacher narrating how "Kanah", he was lovingly called that, had saved a life. His teacher was in tears and said things to him that he still remembers, clearly, so much so that while narrating he felt goosebumps.

That incident, he says, was the turning point of his life. He said that the joy he felt after saving his friend's life was unprecedented, he said .. it felt godly, divine in some sense. He had found his purpose in life, his higher calling. His teacher did not keep the incident to himself got him nominated for President’s bravery award which he won too. He migrated to Delhi, mortgaged the very medal and certificates years later to get cash to start selling coconut strips at crossroads of Delhi, he fondly remembers that.. from there on .. Kanhaiya ji, moved from strengths to strength, took many jobs, achieved stability, married a lovely lady, become father of three kids - but while all of this was one, his mission of saving lives ran parallel uninterrupted and unfettered.

He emphasized on the fact that he is an ardent believer in GOD and has unending faith in Ma Bhavani. He says God and God alone does all the good that is there in the world.Humbly, dismisses his great doings as those being mere acts of obedience to God’s will. On his Auto he started carrying anyone he would spot on the road hurt with an accident to the hospital, often returned home without any cash to pay for the food and other essentials for his family.Had to face innumerable humiliation and difficulties financially as well as socially. People doubted him, questioned his motived, confronted him violently, he even had to make many trips to courts and police stations. All of this when he was only trying to help, mostly selflessly, but he did not give up and his amazing family stood by him in the face of most difficult and demanding circumstances.

He shared with us many stories, how he kept doing the noble deed in 1984 when the infamous Sikh massacre happened to things more recent when he with others followed up the Apex court to get the ruling passed which doesn’t require those helping accident victims to reveal their identity and that medical aid is provided for without preliminary paperwork. He has won numerous awards and recognition but still lives a life of anonymity. Still has to struggle to meet the needs of his family. He surely has made progress, from having nothing at all to the owner of a couple of buses and cars and other things but his most prized earning is the lives that he has selflessly saved.

Books and numerous newspaper articles have been dedicated to him but saint that he is, he remains completely untouched by what people feel about him.

In him, I found a real-life hero, someone who is so rooted in the cause of helping others selflessly that he doesn’t care about anything else as much. He could have easily become one of us but he made the tough choice of remaining Kanhaiya Lal. One who is the true embodiment of caring, love, sacrifice, and humanity. Taking our questions he said, that the world is full of people like him ( you and I know, that is not true) and that all of us should do the right thing which is helping others selflessly and always. In 47 yrs old struggle he did not deter.

It was intensely difficult for me to continue doing what I was busy in before he started his narration after he had left .. he set us all aboard a very different thought ferry. 

His story .. poses a question to us all .. do we do enough for others?

Think about it. Happy Republic day.