‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’

‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’ I’m borrowing this line from a legendary business writer, if you’ve read him too, you’d know he means it. Will reveal the name of the gentleman towards the end of the article. Not all business houses and leaders think as high of ‘culture’ or invest enough resources in setting it right .. they often, on the contrary, are found wrestling with challenges that crop up as a result of not having strong cultural fabric tying loose ends of their organization together. For some reason they miss the fact that covering a wound doesn’t take the pain away; but this write up is not about them but the 'subject', so let’s get back to it.

Organisations have multiple identities, they exist for economic reasons, they also have a social purpose and sometimes even a moral signature; all at once. Travel far and wide, pick up any sector, county, sect or society in the Morden world, you’d find that wealth creation is at every core of its existence. Why else would you see democratic governmental setups talk about GDP growth.. etc? It is a good thing. Prosperity in practical terms is believed to be a close blood-related relative of happiness and therefore pursued wildly. There is no prosperity without wealth. This is not just a boring business administration line, you’ll find substantive evidence of it in mythology too, Hindu mythology in particular. The fact that we worship Goddess Laxmi and in her praise sing and chant mantras which when translated from Sanskrit into our language of daily use means “ to make happiness possible .. we need wealth so .. lord grand me it, in abundance” in summary 95% of the times, balance 5% is chorus, trying to match up with it, is proof enough.

For prosperity one needs perspective, though: this is true even for those who see happiness in things unrelated to wealth. For instance the great poet, Mirza Ghalib held that to lead a good life, all one needs is a good heart, someone to love and great prose to say so differently in different times of the day. If you read Diwan-e-Galib you’d find it. ( This is a rare book and is found only in the national Mirza Galib library at New Delhi, besides Nizamuddin Aulia Dargah). Do check it out.

Perspective is important and integral to organization building. Let’s agree that there is no right or wrong perspective .. as long as your straight view is legal and permissible you’ve every right to pursue it. It, however, needs constant reiteration in an organization to

a) keep people adequately informed and

b) making sure that people do not forget it. 

While an organization is way more , but for the sake of simplicity, let’s just assume that organization is a huge money-making machine : A huge press that prints currency, coming together of many moving parts some mechanical and others human ( accounting, sales, customer service, branding, information technology, procurement, and other, business acumens). From dusk to dawn it prints, converting paper into powerful currency. People who run it are happy seeing how humble paper with their labor turns into one with ink valued a lot more than when it arrived raw on the other end of their press and so are those who supervise it and fund its operations. Imagine, that the machines aren’t oiled routinely, its motors aren’t greased frequently, as a result.. some parts fail, causing a portion of the paper to get wasted, some ink going down uncountably. Let’s just say that workers are lazy, uncaring, selfish and insensitive, instead of letting the supervisors know about what caused the waste of paper and as a result lesser output, they choose to cobble a convincing tale, attach very little significance to it when presenting it to the top guys with the intention of having them pass it without they attaching much attention to it. And this happens over and over again as more parts fail thanks to aging, wear and tear over time. The insincere lot, keeps making their concocted story sound more believable by sprinkling experience to their false cover up reports.

Or they are nice people but in absence of reiteration do not find motivation to report the issue, some may be at a level of less than required intelligence, thus unaware. Silence irrespective of reason is not healthy.

Because not all organizations are small and confined to a small & manageable by physical inspection geography/ office; not every business leader has it in within his means to check and verify every bit of information that is being shared. As a result, having heard the story so many times, they begin to believe in it as much. The real problem keeps flourishing unchecked. Neutral voices that go a-galore against the malpractices are subdued or gagged easily for they are a minuscule minority, as a result, the misdoing continues till that curial breaking point is reached when it becomes terminal and death seems the only cure.

Things come to an end: of what is left people make their last sum of money and walk their separate ways to their next destination. 

In the process what could have been a prosperous endeavor ends in misery, distress, and disrespect. 

Let us imagine, the same set of circumstances in an environment that drives ‘truth’ for a culture, one that rewards dispassionate reporting of events negative as well as positive. A currency factory, that doesn’t reprimand unreasonably, one that encourages people to come forward to own problems and faults and of course has practices and people in place to quickly respond to the situation and correct it. The error would have gotten reported and perhaps the press would still be running as respectably as possible. 

When you’re a 200 to 500 people organization; setting these things right is not as big an issue. In all probabilities most sensible people would have been a part of the hiring process, there is near real-time interaction between management and the delivery apparatus. The problem comes when you have an operation running in scale when you have half a lac or more people operating out of a geography well spread out, in diverse areas of work. Then the challenge is real and it is not just of setting the culture right but also developing detection methods to know what is broken and where? Because the complexity is of an enormous order not acting is equivalent to inviting untimely death.

In this write-up, we will only deal with the detection of the broken and I shall follow this one up with another article on restoration, in the coming weeks. Do keep an eye on this blog for it.

What we need to understand is that broken things are not a problem. In the real world things break all the time, the problem is not having a pair of conscious eyes set to find out what’s broken and then also not having an honest intention of fixing it. Time is of the essence when it comes to fixing.

What we need to know here is that ‘doing’ part of any job is relatively easy .. in deciding what is to be done, how and when lies mastery. Everyone knows that to score decent marks one must study hard, yet not everyone scores well .. because the underlying behavior of all students isn’t healthy. One who sleeps in the class, doesn’t complete his homework and disobeys the teacher is less likely to do great in academics .. may turn out to be a great dancer but if the need is to have an academician .. you will have to look for the traits that make one. 

Therefore, organizational symptom study is vital.

Below are a few detrimental symptoms for you to observe in your organization, if they exist .. your organization is a positive candidate for restoration. 

1. When people agree ‘all’ the time with those in the position of power: Let’s accept this we’re not right all the time and when people simply agree with all that we say, we are headed for a disaster. You need people who without fear, favor or malicious intent disagree with you, give you a contrarian view. One size doesn’t fit all, don’t we know this?
2. When good news outbalances the bad ones on a continuous basis: Let’s say when you review a process or a business and it only tells you all that is right all the time with very little mention of what went wrong and why .. you have got a problem. Well, even Sachin has had to walk back to the pavilion on ducks, if the unit is not failing either it is not trying hard enough or just faking it.
3. Evident Follow ups: If you preside over a system that runs on follow up and delays .. it is a clear indication of the fact that either you do not have competent people or your competent set isn’t sincere. In both cases, if you do not get your people to change their attitude towards ‘on time’ delivery/ response; you will have to change them and if you do none of the two.. you’re setting virtual lighted matchstick to a stack of hay which is dripping with petrol. Someone is always monitoring, natural justice, you see!
4. Disregard for conformance: This one is rather easy when you see people not conforming to the norm for the heck of it.. you have a problem. The common way of finding it out, when people run late for a scheduled meeting, all the time. When they wilfully come unprepared, almost always. Or better yet, do not attend crucial meetings. You should know they do not care enough and you should care little for them.
5. Shortage of Ideas - When the group that you work with starts falling sort of Ideas.. you experience relatively long & unexplained lull, often .. you must know that your people aren’t thinking and because thinking is 50% of doing an excellent job. Chances are they aren’t even doing what they are really supposed to do, let alone anything nearly good.

Well, if you see any of these symptoms surfacing enough in your organization, you should declare an emergency. At this point, you should slow down expansion and fuel restoration. Because if you do not fix .. it will break .. and sooner than you think. 

BTW,  Mr. Torben Rick, is who said "Culture eats strategy for breakfast"

Have a great Sunday, catch you in the next one!

Balance is a myth!

Balance, a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions to the extent of egalitarianism. Yes, that!

Balance is one of the most commonly heard words from the wise. There is balance in ‘diet’, in posture, even between work and life; I’m here to argue otherwise. In absolute terms there is nothing called balance .. most practical translation of balance is choice. When we like a certain thing and we for some reason are not comfortable pushing the argument in its true color forward, we take the cover of balance to roll it across as a solidly knitted argument. Let me take the example of ‘work-life balance’. Successful people work a lot .. they work hard, round the clock .. they make work their life and therefore inch ahead of everyone else. Ruskin Bond, Sachin Tendulkar, Mahatma Gandhi, Shah Rukh Khan, Roger Federer, Barak Obama, Nushrat Fateh Ali Khan, Nelson Mandela & Steve Jobs .. did not do a 9 to 5 to achieve the level of greatness that they did.  There is another set that keeps clamoring for a better balance between work and life; truth be told, this set likes other things more than they like their work and to fund that other thing with more time and resources they often argue for a greater balance between life and work. Actually, the demand is not at all that of balance but of choice. And that is alright, everyone gets a vote and when it comes to their life they must enjoy ‘veto’. But it will be so much better if you just said it.. plainly.

One of my previous employers had this amazing tradition, in which, after annual performance appraisals rating closure employees were encouraged to bid for open roles higher in the hierarchy than their current one. Interested employees were then given a week to prepare for a presentation/talk in which they were expected to establish their suitability. Those who impressed the judges enough bagged the position and additional raise that came with it. Announcements were made public and it marked the end of PMS for the year. Those who had designed the process made sure that they picked the jury for each role in a manner which made familiarity or let’s say the popularity of a candidate absolutely useless .. 9 out of ten times the jury picked didn’t even know the names of the candidates before arriving in the meeting room. They were often chosen from different business and different geographies.

In last 15 yrs that I’ve been on; I have had 11 promotions .. out of which 4 were from this amazing process, naturally, I owe my success, 36% of career progression to this and therefore I love it. 

Opinions were divided on this policy, though! Because opponents were looking to create balance.

Those who benefited from it, like me, went all out to appreciate it. The policy rendered efforts spent in building ‘relationship’ with the immediate supervisory and their leaders, somewhat less useful and therefore unnecessary. People went about doing their work, making sure their KRAs were substantially delivered on because that was the only way to get to the bid for the next level. This single policy in a decade of its existence prepared a generation of employees who neither worked extra hours to become somebodies favorite or really expected their subordinates to treat them in a particular manner, all they cared for was delivery and work. Output measures, 8 out of 10 times remained at the center of all conversations. It all looked perfect from a distance. This brilliant system also had its side effects.. in the sense people to people bond started becoming less and less emotional and more and more purpose or should I say task driven. People became dangerously cautious of what they were doing and if in any way it will let them in a position of disadvantage. Year-round people worked crazily on improving their presentation, leadership, analytical & organizational skills etc but devoted little time toward the development of the teams that they were responsible for, which in some cases also proved counterproductive. Critiques of this system said it is incentivizing selfishness.

The other group found this policy absolutely outrageous and were often heard saying that this policy was crafted purposefully to disproportionately support ‘extroverts’. Their principal argument was that an organization has a mix of personalities .. people with all kinds of strengths. Why should the system be rigged to this extent to support one set of skills completely ignoring the other sets? Natural outcomes included attrition, lower moral in people who were not wanting to improve on the skills at the same time were also not getting opportunities outside.

Perfection is a textbook idea.. in reality every story has another telling. Ours is a complicated world. Most harmless activity when dissected mercilessly, may make completely opposite of the original intention appear as the valid one. Let’s take an example of you praying for your own success on something which has only one prize. What are you then essentially saying? That may everyone else competing for it scoreless then you do? Of course, you don’t mean it that way and it is a great thing to hope & pray for, but those who have to critique will do so, anyway. And if they apply their minds enough, they would also land a few sane sounding reasons but then should it make someone choose one over other, against their original inkling because there is opposition? Certainly not, irrespective of which side you choose there will always be other sides.

That brings me back to the primordial question; Does balance exist? Should one strive for it? On a number scale zero is placed at the perfect center, how many wish to be there at that number? People want bigger and better numbers .. don’t they? Ok, those of you who think zero is a good number, when it is to denote ‘errors’ or losses .. great, understand! Even that notion is so because we want a positive outcome on a whole, which is inherently towards the right of the number scale .. off its center, isn’t it? So is there any balance, at all?

What do we do then? Smart people trade, the way nature has negotiated gravitational force to enable vertical alignment for. Make the best of what is available.

Be off balance, if you truly believe in your cause and do what is needed to forward that, at the same time remember, you are entitled to be whoever you’d want to be.. you have just one life. Be unapologetic for the choices that you make but it will always be good .. to remain ethical and hold high moral grounds in the process. Because .. what is ‘good’ doesn’t age!!

Have a great Sunday!

See you in the next one. 

The curious case of conflict!

Hello Readers,

Good to be back here. The last couple of weeks have been particularly busy given the fact that I’ve accepted an exciting career opportunity, this involved among many other things ‘moving’ from the city of the Netas to the one of the Nawabs .. better known as the holy biryani barrack by rest of the country. You guessed it right .. I’m in Hyderabad. It isn’t my first stint in this beautiful city .. more on it, later.

I’ve been mulling over the subject of “conflict” for a while now; it is one fascinating facet of human existence. Don’t you agree? We often hear this term in our day to day lives and almost all the time, we associate negative sentiment to it. It is disliked by all and yet a part of everyone’s life, irrespective of what you do or dream of achieving as long as it involves resources ( people, things, thoughts .. or just about anything else) in a sum total of 2 or more - the possibility of conflict is real. Let me say this: conflict is inescapable, no matter what you do, you will have to deal with it in some form, shape or manner. So, it is only wise to perhaps invest time and energy in understanding it better. 

Right off the bat search on the web or a dive into the dictionary will give you the below.

———————————————————————————————————————————

noun

noun: conflict; plural noun: conflicts

ˈkɒnflɪkt/

1. 1. 
2. a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one."the eternal conflict between the sexes"

1 1.synonyms:

1 1.dispute, quarrel, squabble, disagreement, a difference of opinion, dissension; More

——————————————————————————————————————————— 

Disagreement, yes that, is conflict at an atomic level. But wait, should all disagreements be called conflicts? If you go by the ‘definition’ perhaps yes.. I recommend, you wait to hear a little example that I’m gonna share with you and then decide for yourself. Let’s say, there are two friends; Lav and Kush, Lav believes that S. P. Balasubrahmanyam is the greatest singer to have walked on the face of this earth but Kush holds the highest honour for Kishore Kumar, in his views there hasn’t been .. there isn’t and there will never be another artist who could infuse life into the lyrics. He goes on to say that Late Kishore Kumar's vocal codes were the finest set of harmonium that a human was ever born with. Obviously, Lav and Kush do not agree with each other - will this difference of opinion qualify to be called a conflict, though?

Let’s give this little snippet some plot. 

Plot #1 - Lav & Kush, meeting each other over Irish coffee at Starbucks in Inorbit Mall, Hyd, after 10 yrs and as a conversation starter pick up on the song another visitor at the coffee house is humming while he awaits his significant other to arrive from Gurgaon.

Plot #2 - Lav & Kush are roommates and have decided to go for a musical show on a Sunday evening between 7 and 9 PM, debating which of the two shows (Kishore Kumar or S. P. Balasubrahmanyam) should they elect for the evening.

Plot #3 - Between Lav and Kush they can only afford one ticket to one of the two shows and therefore they have decided to debate who deserves to go; because there can only be one winner, the other one gets to choose which show is to be booked.

I’ve on purpose picked up these simple yet believable plots to make my point, my belief is that if I manage to bring clarity on the concept of conflict you then on your own will be able to apply the learnings on to other complex situations, to make the right judgment. All the three plots are different kinds of disagreements - not all are conflicts, though. Let’s understand why.

Plot #1 is a casual .. happy disagreement between two friends who use the singers as a prop and are trying to break the ice between themselves so even when they disagree they are actually silently working toward the compatible goal of sliding into a comfortable harmless conversation over coffee. They are friends .. so even if the dialogue were to be pointless, they are cool about it.

Plot #2 - Is a tad different, both the parties desire for different things to be done at the ‘same’ time .. irrespective of the choice one of the two will lose there because resources are scarce. They just have 2 hours, good enough for just one show.

Plot #3 - Is rather interesting, not only they have an incompatible goal but are also strapped for resources, can afford just one ticket and there is also interference, in the sense the one who doesn’t go gets to choose which show is to be booked - this case, my friends, is a classic case of conflict.

So, an apt definition of conflict to my mind is disagreement stemming from incompatible goals, under circumstances that bear scarcity of resources and also possible interference in one’s life by the pointers on which the disagreement is founded, initially.

All of us have been there; we have been the reason for it, we have been a victim of it and some of us have also been involved in resolving conflicts. As leaders, we are expected to resolve quite a few as more than one opinion on a matter could potentially cause what is called conflict in a workplace. Knowledge is the currency of the 21st century, most of us, solve problems with ideas which spring from thoughts applied on the heap of the impression that we collect and carry from our past experiences, academic learnings and the imagination that we apply, using any of it. That being the case it is only natural that a room will have more than one view on a matter, as a matter of a fact it is a good thing to have ideas compete but more often than not, the fine line gets overstepped and instead of ideas, facts and arguments ... real people get down to the arena - making it personal; they may not always have frowns or rolled up sleeve but they do get into a locking position virtually to advance what they consider to be the best.

Calling for truce becomes more than essential in scenarios like that. People who come in to resolve conflict are able to do it easily if they happen to control more stakes than those in the disagreement. They come and pronounce what should be done - while the task moves; sometimes the conflict remains!!

Unresolved conflicts have myriad negative effects on the organization, as a whole, including lowered productivity, a decrease in collaboration, and stifled creativity - not a desirable thing to have, on any account. One must find these conflicts and essentially work towards resolving them. In his 30 years of research in this field, Professor Bernie Mayer describes the seven paradoxes of conflict in his famous book - “Getting to the heart of conflict”. Those are :

1. Competition and Cooperation
2. Optimism and Realism
3. Avoidance and Engagement
4. Principle and Compromise
5. Emotion and Logic
6. Neutrality and Advocacy
7. Community and Autonomy

Think of any conflict in the word and you’d find that they relate to one of these, invariably.

We’ve sufficiently described what conflict is; let’s now look at ways to resolve them or let’s say manage them in a manner that is effective while being productive, quick and meaningful; all at the same time. Good conflict resolution leads to high employee retention, increased productivity, and a lower stress level for everyone involved - it is a smart investment to make.

Not sure, if I’m someone from whom you should hear this - being honest, I’m learning it just as much as you as I progress in my life meddling and moving from one conflict to the other. I’m making conscious effort to understand it a little better for I have no doubts in my mind that without effective conflict resolution abilities; one can’t possibly get to the top and I wanna be there. I’ve reflected a great deal upon my own experiences on the topic, cases where I excelled and also those where I miserably failed and trust me, you can’t learn without failing. With time I’ve improved but there is still a long way for me to go but I’m determined to get this within my grasp.

I often draw before beginning to write on a subject; it gives me clarity - the one that I sketched today is for you to see. I was trying to devise a little tool kit for conflict resolution. 

Disclaimer: I’m on expert on this. 

*Spelling errors have to be ignored

From this diagram, below items have emerged; let’s go over them one by one.

• Welcome Conflicts 
• Listen with your heart not just ears.
• Do not ASSUME
• Communicate with clarity 
• Compromise is beautiful.
• Forget & Forgive. 

Welcome Conflict - It’ll be unreal for a leader to expect conflict-free business; a talented, passionate, heterogeneous mix of people will have issues - it is a no-brainer. Strong personalities do not cross each other without leaving an imprint of their encounter, some are more indelible than the others, though. A thinking group natures independent research, values varied opinions and likes to weight options before calling the shot - that in itself create a ground firmly fertile for conflicts. It is not a bad thing to have a couple of people disagree on a couple of issues as long as they are putting their best foot forward towards solving what is at hand. When you talk to solve .. it is ok for you to speak a few extra words.

Listen with your heart not just ears - Not hearing a particular view in detail is doing deliberate injustice to the cause. You gotta listen to both the parties for as long as they would like to speak unless you are invested in only moving forward without comprehensively bringing closure. It is needed that you give the matter the time it demands even if it deserves a little less then its demand, to get to the bottom of the issue. Remember unresolved issues often surfaces again harder than the previous time.

Do not ASSUME: Assumption is an absolute worse thing to carry when you are headed to resolve a conflict. Your bias will come in the way of you assessing the situation thoughtfully, remember when you chair a discussion, you have to shed your own beliefs and be guided by the facts as they are presented. One can borrow from morality, fundamentals of natural justice etc. But then it must be applied dispassionately and proportionately to both sets of arguments, data, viewpoints and even interests.

Communicate with clarity: Communication is essentially about the other person, those who you address must understand each word spoken or written just as well as the person leading the conversation. You must leave nothing unsaid, you gotta spell it out completely and in a manner which is most honest and dispassionate. Candour is a great value to embrace in a situation like this.

Compromise is beautiful: Mahatma Gandhi used to propagate the beauty of compromise; he would often suggest that by leaving the comforts of extremists position, people with open mind, when coming to a neutral ground more than a lot, gets accomplished and in time. It is ok, to let go of a few things .. remember it is an art of the possible and not of the perfect.

Forget & Forgive: Moving on is important. If you carry the scars of the past to the present you will not be able to insulate yourself from the pain it gave you when you had to suffer it for the first time. It is imp to let the ghost of the past rest in their peaceful graves .. deal with a present as though you were dealing with it for the first time no less no more.

This is not a perfect solution but certainly a good workaround; think about it and while you’re at it .. have a great Sunday. Catch you in the next one...

Make hope your culture!

Happy new year, people! I hope 2018 is treating you well.

Earlier this week, I, kickstarted series of education session for brilliant people in my team .. the objective was to get to know them better and give them a different perspective, some thought for them to ponder over! Four sessions to cover the entire staff. And in the process, I essentially repeated myself, four times over and that got me thinking that perhaps, the message will find deeper application if it reaches a wider audience, so here I’m.

Organisations cannot survive in our times if they aren’t heterogeneous in composition, ‘more of the same’ is no longer a winning mix. You need people from various educational & social backgrounds, skills, personalities, and beliefs to come together to achieve what is the common objective. Everyone in their unique ways takes the group forward, every day, by contributing in the space that they work. A techie writes compelling codes making the product complete and competent, that enables the salesperson to go out there, stand hand and shoulder above the competition to win customers, those won over .. need help and support by a group committed to making bitter experiences better by applying what they consider valuable - service skills. Someone works tirelessly on excel files trying to make sense of it all and everyone else that is there is between who try and give it shape and enable it to work like a machine that is well oiled and up to date.

Often times, however, we get so overwhelmed, by the challenges we conquer that we begin to undermine the values that others bring on to the table and there seed of conflict is sowed; it only grows bigger if not checked in time. People who are there in the field get seduced into considering that those who operate from the office are lazy and unconcerned and those at office desk begin to believe that those fighting it out in the streets are outright ignorant and often times ill-behaved too- hair-splitting may get the observers a clearer view of who is right but then the organisation is not served well with these conflicts not even in the least bit.

It is said that when strong personalities come together conflicts become inevitable; because people generally do not like to budge. What does one do in such situations? These are real-world issues and often do damages which are far more grave than a bad business decision, they tend to make the organization shallow from within. People then come together only to pose for photographs not so much to really be together. These situations are just as tacky as they are tricky !!

In my talk, I spoke to my people about the great leveler that nature is when it rains .. no matter which way you pray, which school you went to .. whichever subject you could be major in - you’ll all great drenched! Sun rays do not light rich homes more than poor huts. Morning breeze is just as soothing to all people, of all background and beliefs - we’re the same people, we hold dear similar aspirations! ‘Expression’ however differ and that alone creates all the ‘differences’ that exists today. We must all be watchful of what, how & where we express ourselves. 

Whether we like it or not ; whatever we do for a living has a profound impact on who we are and even before we realize what we do all day starts reflecting in our behaviors and quietly creeps into our belief systems too, changing us from within, sometimes irreversibly. Be very sure of what you wanna pick up as a profession.

A goldsmith values precision over power; blacksmiths love power more; Pain in patient doesn’t prick emotions in a doctor, a worker at a construction site doesn’t mind dust, a scientist is not afraid of failing, customer service professional have fragile emotions yet are resilient - these remarkable traits are not what that these people were raised on or born with - but were acquired working and slowly it shaped their worldview. They all think differently of the same thing, sometimes.

These forces are so strong that it can come in the way of the larger objective at times, greater goals may sometimes, succumb to these differences. Every organization needs to be aware of these challenges and should have a strategy to overcome them.

Alongside financial & performance goals, the organization should also keep in mind, cultural goals and invest strongly in making it happen. In the face of most difficult times, it is the strength of character that pulls people up, organization are no different. Clearly identified values and very well articulated intent; are a good start but it mustn’t end there. If you look at Indian business landscape, we have more than a handful of successful business houses but if you were to name top two, The Birla and the TATA group walk away with the prised perceptional value, there! The reason is that these organizations really invest in values.

Every passing day makes it tougher for organizations to survive, they deal with multiple challenges, from rising cost to shrinking capital to customers walking away to difficulty in keeping top talent. Things will continue to get more complex and confined as time progresses.One can choose from the open ocean of positive adjectives and traits and make it their own by sweating to act in accordance at all times, but if, I were to pick one, I would say, it must be “hope”!

Without the audacity is ‘hope’, integrity, kindness, candor, respect, resilience, forthrightness, frugality and just about everything else is just as incomplete as is a cup of tea without the tea bag! Nothing is going to live until the end of time without failing and when failure sees you in the eye, “hope” comes handy. The failure can be of any shape or size but the undeniable fact is that it will always be there in some proportion or the other, it is inescapable and a lot/group that is not hopeful and madly so - will not always get thru difficulties.

The group I was addressing, did buy the message and wanted to know how does one really apply the currency of hope to buy goodness. Answering it is simply, you gotta practice “self-talk”.

It is a system in which you give yourself instructions mostly verbal that you’d be the best at whatever you’re doing. When on the road, you would try and be the best-behaved person there. When playing a game you’d instruct yourself to be the best gamer - not every-time you’d end with the best score but if you have the value of hope by your side.You’ll find reasons to try again at being the best at what you do. 

Hope keeps us going, in the shiniest of the times and the darkest of the hours. It is hope that made cars on the road and airplanes fly in the air, possible ( and also innovation and the engineering ;) . With unwavering faith and untiring effort, we can achieve whatever we set our minds to. Let us not forget, we should do what we must but in sight of the fact that our journeys can be singular but the destination is shared! We must remain one hopeful force, in all our rises and in all of our falls, we must hope and win together.

So here’s my message - always remain hopeful and keep telling yourself that you have to be the best at whatever you’re doing - everything else will find its own sweet place.

Until next time ;) 

“The guy I know” wants to end all disputes on the subject of “dispute”!

After a gap of good 24 hours, I could again get closer to ‘the guy I know’, in the silence of my pg room, yes, the place is largely quite, if we have a heart big enough to ignore desperate call for proper oiling coming clear from the ceiling fan swinging above me & yes my best companion in town (my BB ) paying “jagjit singh”, as both of us approach the mid night!

“The guy I know” is thinking deep as he nods to my greeting and almost mechanically throws a question towards me, speed of which was nothing less than a bullet chasing its target – I was perplexed and in the attempt to understand, why something was being asked to me, I completely missed, what was being asked? In utter disgust, I uttered – you mind repeating.... he gave me a stern look and said .. are “disputes” bad ?

Like all previous occasions even on this one, I did not have much to contribute, so I cautiously caught the bullet, without  allowing it to disturb my desire to listen to “the guy I know”, I threw the question back to him (my speed was gentle though) and said – why don’t you share you viewpoint and “the guy I know”, said, Dispute is often seen as a negative sentiment or let me say it is believed to cause undesirable consequences in most cases,  but I’m of the view that disputes are integral part of our lives and it propels growth and movement ( may not be in all cases but it does deliver it in some critical ones) – I heard “The guy I know” and was struck by surprise and perhaps this was my turn to behave mechanical, I  bounced on him almost like this action was a result of someone pressing some electronic button in me– I remarked  _ I don’t think I agree with that one, and then with an unperturbed smile he says _  please turn an ear to my thoughts , you may buy it in and I agreed!

“The guy I know” said, it is when we disagree, difference are born which sometimes graduate to disputes and disagreement is born often when we don’t submit to what we don’t consider right , so if dispute is bad so is standing for what we consider right?  Now it is undisputable that standing for one’s views is not negative and wrong, so it is not unfair therefore to consider and accept that all disputes are not negative, some are essential too! – This argument did move me a little but could not really shift my positions - from extreme disagreement to agreement , my honest situation was somewhere in between and I did not waste any moment in putting it across to “The guy I know”, this time speed was certainly calmer!

“The Guy I know”, welcomed my reaction and said , it is not deniable that disputes do sometimes lead to unfortunate consequences but so does agreement , if we agree and act on factually incorrect details and actions based on immoral philosophies devoid of values ? It is then he says, disputes alone never causes any harm – it becomes fatally destructive when it is wrongly mixed with emotions ( like hatred, insult, jealously etc..) and thus misjudged as an attack on self and not just on our opinion, a glaring example could be we don’t mind when people say “they don’t like black cloths” but when the same dislike on the colour is expressed like “I don’t like your cloths in black” raises possibility of dispute potential of unfortunate results! It is noteworthy that the previous comment which only talk about the colour black is less likely to result in anything unpleasant, while there might still be dispute in the shape of disagreement between people who regard black as a good colour!

So it is not dispute , but dispute blended with emotions attached to self that causes problems and if we have to dissolve dispute , we don’t have to agree on everything but only alienate emotions form our disagreement and still carry on with disputes which after all is not a bad thing, always.

Now I can say, I have travelled the across the tangent to believe that not all disputes are bad – Thanks to the “The Guy I know”